


Oatmeal, apple & cinnamon

by Magichemistry



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Eating Disorders, F/M, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 05:22:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13874037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magichemistry/pseuds/Magichemistry
Summary: Request: Hello! Your writing is amazing! Can I request a Kylo x reader one shot where the reader wants to be strong and fight alongside him, but she has problems with eating (eats too little) and motivation so she’s just weak and exhausted and it makes her feel like she’s not worth his attention, and Kylo comforts her and helps her get it together? Thank you!





	Oatmeal, apple & cinnamon

**Author's Note:**

> I really like oatmeal with apple and cinnamon, it’s my everyday breakfast. Kylo gives you a TED talk in this one.

There’s a poster on the cafeteria saying a new class will begin next week and it’s available for all the stormtroopers interested.  
You amaze when you read the teacher will be Kylo Ren in person, Supreme Leader of the First Order. The class will contain topics such as hand to hand training, weapon training and meditation. You don’t need to have the Force to do the last, the whole point of the class is to make your body and mind stronger.  
“Thinking of applying, (Y/N)?” trooper GS-1089 interrupts your train of thoughts.  
“I don’t know” you shrug, not wanting to get attention.  
“You’ll get your ass kicked” he mocks of you and you cross your arms around you, in a way to protect yourself.  
“Whatever” you end the conversation and walk away to your duties. But the poster is still calling you.

* * *

It’s breakfast hour at the First Order and you sigh deeply, stirring the spoon inside your oatmeal. It’s barely morning and you don’t feel like eating, there’s no one around you so you decide to stare at the poster. It’s what you’ve been doing for the last five days. You only have two more days to make up your mind and sign up.

You bite your lip nervously, you can already feel anxiety filling your body at the mere thought of going to that class. But it’s a great opportunity, to fight alongside Kylo Ren.

Two weeks have passed since the class started, there aren’t many participants because Kylo is someone they’re afraid for. But he’s a great teacher! He knows what he’s talking about and has a lot of experience, he doesn’t burst out in anger, yeah, sometimes he yells too much but it’s only for motivation purposes.

You wish you could say the same thing about yourself, this kind of training is harder than the basic stormtrooper program. You haven’t been feeding well, sometimes it’s so hard to eat. You’re seriously considering to abandon the class.

Once the class is over you stay behind from your companions to pick up your water bottle. You’re adjusting your ponytail when Kylo passes by and offers you a small white bottle.

“Here kid, you looked like you were about to pass out. You need some protein” he throws the bottle at you and you hurry to catch it. You’re unable to say anything but it doesn’t matter, he’s already walking away.

This is so embarrassing, even he sees that you don’t deserve to be here. You feel your eyes burning from sweat and tears, but if you’re gonna have a breakdown at least you’re gonna have it in your quarters alone.

* * *

Three days later you refuse to give up, everyday is harder to the cardio and pylo exercises while maintaining your breath. You look around and you see the others not even sweating, with a face of determination. The little food you’ve been eating plus your anxiety piles up and makes you lose your balance, you almost fall down and catch the attention of everyone. It’s evident they’re judging you with their snarky smiles.

Feeling dizzy you run to the showers, you’re so tired of everything you don’t care if you made an scene at this point. Besides, it’s not like you’re going back.

You sit on a bench, your elbows against your knees and your face between your hands. You feel some steps approaching and you sigh, not really wanting to anyone see you like this.

“Hey” it’s Kylo’s voice. You lift your head too fast and a wave of dizziness hits you.

“You’re not gonna give me another protein shake, are you?” you ask. “Supreme Leader” you hurry to add.

“No” he chuckles. “Why? Did you throw up the one I gave you?”

“No but I spent all the afternoon bloated and with stomach pain” you frown remembering that day. You couldn’t even drink the half of it and you had to toss it in the garbage.

“What’s wrong?” he sits next to you.

“There’s nothing wrong, Supreme Leader” you shake your head and try to smile, pretending that nothing’s going here.

“I don’t need to use the Force to see that clearly there’s something wrong with you” he puts you in evidence. “Busted!” you hear your mind telling at you.

“I just …” you stir uncomfortable not really wanting to confront this. “I feel like I’m wasting your time, I shouldn’t even have to be in this class. I see how the others get better everyday meanwhile me, it looks I just get weaker and weaker”.

“Stop it. You need to cut that shit. You’re getting it all wrong. Do you think I watch who’s the best? Fuck no. I watch who’s trying the hard, who has the most constancy and discipline. And I see you, (Y/N), everyday, giving all in the class, even when you’re not feeling at your best” his tone of voice is aggressive but he’s trying to prove a point.

“It’s just I’m on a point where I’m miserable and I feel I can’t do it anymore. I see food as something evil I need in order to survive. I constantly feel pressure to achieve other people’s expectations: be the strongest, be the fastest, be the most agile. I can not even enjoy food anymore, I feel so angry and depressed most of the time. It’s exhausting. I’m done comparing myself to the other troopers” you let your tears fall without noticing it.

“Regardless of how fast, strong or good you are, do what makes you happy. Appreciate who you are and what you have to offer. Find out what’s most important to you and go after it with everything you’ve got. There is no right or wrong. Do what feels best for you” he grabs your hand and looks at you with a worried expression.

“You really are a good teacher” you dry your tears with your other hand and smile a little.

* * *

Another morning, another boring plate of oatmeal. You’re still meditating Kylo’s words from yesterday, considering if it’d be a good idea to go to class today. He said it didn’t matter the talent more than the perseverance.

Looking down at your pasty food, you feel someone sitting next to you putting a tray of food next to yours.

“S-supreme Leader” you’re surprised to see Kylo sit with you.

“You can call me Kylo when we’re not training”

“W-what are y-you doing here?” you see all the other stormtroopers curious about why their leader is among them sharing his breakfast.

“I know you’ve had some problems with food. So I decided to share my meals with you” he takes a bite from his fork. “And also, this weekend, we’re going to Ithor to do hiking. It’s more fun than just walking on the treadmill ”.

“Why are you doing all of this?” you shake your head, incredulous of what’s happening.

Kylo swallows his food and speaks, “Everyone has their own battles, but that doesn’t mean you have to fight them alone”. He removes his food looking nervous, “Plus you’re pretty cute and I thought the hiking will be a good idea for a date”.

You stare at him for a moment, waiting for him to tell you it’s all joke but the longer you stare the more you start to believe this is real.

“Now, put some apple and cinnamon into that oatmeal. It’ll taste better “he says but he’s the one pouring the ingredients. You just let him do it.

You take a big piece of the mix and you grin when you realize it really tastes good and you want another bite.

**Author's Note:**

> Part of Kylo’s motivational speech I took it from a trainer I follow on IG. He has great advice and you should follow him too! @syattfitness
> 
> Come say hi to me: tumblr.com/bad--bad--man


End file.
